This I believe Draft


Belief in failure

              It was the day after the end of my first semester in college. This was a time for relaxation and celebration at all attained over the previous time span. However for me, it was no such a time for either. I came into my first semester of college with my goals set very high. However, these goals proved to be out of reach at the end of the semester. I was in a remorseful state because I felt that I had failed myself. The happiness and joy of the holiday season were not at all upon me. I felt like there was short of nothing anything could do to uplift my spirits. To my surprise, I found my inspiration in the most unlikely of places: at the State College-College 9 theatre. Yes. It wasn’t until the middle of a very anticipated movie that I and so many others had been much looking forward to that I found my inspiration. As I watched on, one very well known green character came on screen and said words the resonated with me so much so that it changed my entire outlook on my situation: “The greatest teacher failure is.” I thought to myself how true this statement was. Failure has played a prevalent role in my eventual success at every level. Most of my successes have been bounce backs to what have been, in my mind, outstanding failures.

Comments

  1. UnknownJanuary 18, 2018 at 10:03 AM

    1. I think overall, this is going to be a really good story to make a lesson/this I believe out of. Especially since it was so recent, it's a topic that will be really natural for you to write about and make meaning out of.
    2. The conflict is definitely there, with the juxtaposition of what you wanted yourself to do the first semester and what actually ended up happening. I think the resolution could come once you start talking more about your belief as a result of this, and maybe work in where you can go from here.
    3. I think as of right now, you set up for your conclusion well, but still need to add in a section at the end to wrap it all up and make a statement for what you believe.
    4. In general, the energy of your writing is really good. You definitely are able to convey the mood of the season in contrast to your mood because of the first semester and this helps the listener feel more engaged in the moment. The one thing I would suggest though is having a more captivating opening sentence.

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